In Praise of a Uncomfortable Life

Posted: August 27, 2010 in bootblacking

In America, these days, it seems we are obsessed with comfort.  It’s not unusual to see people out in public at all hours of the day in their pajamas.  Stretchy materials are everywhere and there is rarely a place or occasion where you won’t see a pair of blue jeans.  There are times I like to be comfortable.  I have a pair of “fuzzy pants” that my Master lets me where whenever I’m cold at home, sick, or just need a bit of comforting.  His t-shirts are big enough to reach my knees and I usually take one with me when I travel that smells like him.  I’m not against being comfortable.

But sometimes…I appreciate being UNCOMFORTABLE.

There is something to be said for dressing up in your finest clothes and really putting some care into your appearance.  It sets the mood for whatever you’re getting to do.  It can make the mundane special.  It can show others that you have put thought and time into preparing for whatever is to come.  Sometimes we look our best when we’re actually a little less than comfortable.  High heels, corsets, makeup, tight leather…all these things can look sublime and set the mood for an incredible scene, but they are rarely as comfortable as our blue jeans and t-shirts.

Still…they are WORTH the discomfort.

Sometimes, it’s not just what we’re wearing, but our actions that are uncomfortable.  Kneeling immediately springs to mind.  Kneeling isn’t always comfortable.  In fact, it often passes discomfort into pain.  Still, even when it hurts, I love to kneel for my Master.  Taking that pain to give him the picture of submission is just another way of expressing devotion.  There are so many experiences that I would miss if I wanted to stay comfortable.  Riding a rollercoaster, running a 5k, doing a take-down scene, or getting a good whipping.  Even good sex is often the sex that traces that thin line between discomfort and pain or even crosses it entirely.  A life lived comfortably means a life lived timidly without the kinds of extreme experiences that make the strongest memories.

Ultimately, comfort is a temporary condition.  We all will grow older and the wearing of the years will bring us aches and pains that no amount of sweatpants and tennis shoes will ease.  The harder we fight to cling to what comfort we have, the faster our bodies degrade and deny it to us.

For me, bootblacking is an event worth being uncomfortable for.  It’s an event worth putting on my finest outfits for and worth spending hours on my knees for.  People ask me if wearing a corset for so many hours while bootblacking is “uncomfortable.”  Yes, it is.  It helps keep my back from aching at the end of a long night or even an entire day of bootblacking, but when I take it off, my ribs ache and it takes a while for my internal organs to settle back into place.  People ask me if it’s uncomfortable bootblacking on my knees.  Yes, it is and I often feel it for a few days afterwards.  I doubt I’ll be able to bootblack exactly the way I do now in the years to come, but for now, I find it is worth the aches and pains and worth the time to get all dressed up for it.  It puts me in a headspace that is different than I would be in if I were comfortable.  It makes me feel sexy and like I’m ready to play.  I hope that it helps bring those in my chair into the scene with me and that it sets the stage for what I hope is a good experience for them as well.  I hope that it shows them how seriously I take the scene and how important it is to me that they have a good experience.  Ultimately, I plan on being uncomfortable while I bootblack as long as my knees will hold up to kneeling and my ribs will hold up to tight corsets.  When the day comes that they won’t, then I’ll just have to find another way to enter that wonderful escape.

I would rather spend as much time as possible uncomfortable and rewarded by amazing memories than remain comfortable.

Here’s to many more uncomfortable, amazing nights!


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