Home Fires

Posted: December 27, 2010 in general, M/s, Titleholding

Yesterday, I was sweeping the main room of our house.  A fire was crackling in the fireplace and I was sweeping up the dust and the debris from the kindling as well as whatever had fallen to the floor when we had guests at Christmas.  Classical music played and my Master was researching something online and it suddenly occurred to me.

This…this is the life I’d been dreaming of for so long.

When we often think of BDSM relationships, we often think only of the most obvious trappings that go along with them.  We think of tight latex and leather, whips and rope, floggers and gags.  Still, at that moment, I felt the most complete as a slave that I had in a long time.  I have been a part of my Master’s household for some time now, but this was the first holiday season that we had an actual house for our household.  There, sweeping the hearth and straightening up the dungeon, I felt more like I belonged than I think I ever have, particularly thinking back to the laughter and conversations shared there the day before, the house filled with Leather and BDSM folk, people who share a common bond and often seem closer to us than our blood relatives.

It all just feels so right.

Our home is already starting to take shape as a Leather household, with a commitment to reach out to our community and provide a space for meetings or play and also a warm and welcoming place for discussion.  Our household is more than just a house, but it’s also more than just the members or those who live there.  Our house is the spirit with which we walk our journey and it is a call to reach out to others in whatever way we can along the way.  As I finished sweeping, I settled into my place next to the fire, feeding it.  I love fires, which I’m sure is no surprise considering what a pyromaniac my Master is, and I love building them.  In a lot of ways, building a fire is a lot like building a Leather household.

In the beginning, all you really have are the separate pieces to build a fire and a will to do it.  If there are others around as you build it, they will often tell you that you’re stacking the wood wrong or that you’re using the wrong kindling.  There will always be those who think the wood is too damp or the ashes too thick.  In the end, though, you simply have to decide to do it and commit to it no matter what.  The first flames are fragile and fleeting.  As you add more and more kindling, you start to wonder if the great logs that will sustain the fire long term will ever catch.  You begin to worry that the fire will burn itself out before it has a chance to become stable.  The temptation now is to give up.  This is where your commitment is tested and you have to put in a lot of work adding small sticks until, finally, one of the logs begins to catch.  Now the temptation is to mess with the fire, altering it to the point where what you have worked hard to build is broken and the flames die.  Patience is key here.  You have to simply watch, feeding it bits of wood as needed.  Finally, the logs catch and you have a fire that will last.  It looks like that fire has always been that strong and people who observe it now think you are a master firebuilder because they didn’t see the tentative first steps it took to build.  Now, the temptation is to take that fire for granted, forgetting to feed it new logs now and then and forgetting to tend it, letting the embers cool and die.  Even a strong, mature fire needs tending.

I feel like our household is just at the point where the logs are catching fire and now is a time for patience.  I know we will be doing tending of the fire and adding to it more and more next year as we have more time to reach out, but for now, it feels like it is more time to be patient with each other as we face the challenges of my title year and me being absent a lot from hearth and home.  Still, it is wonderful knowing the warmth of that fire is waiting for me when I get home.

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